If there is no urgency, then the problem is either not that bad or the problem has changed.
If you are feeling no sense of urgency to work on your M, then the problem may not be solving the M. The problem may be simply trying to survive the next 8 years.
Last week, I got chastised because my sense of urgency translated into "hounding" my husband for an email he was going to send.
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I'm guessing your parents' criticism often came out in the form of disdain if you didn't know something, did something in the wrong manner, made a factual mistake, uses poor grammar??
When you ask something like this, do you really want an answer, or is this just something you want me to think about? I hesitate to answer, because my answer may not be in agreement with your statement, then I'm accused of being argumentative. At the same time, I've gotten chastised by KD for not answering every question, that I'm somehow intentionally withholding.
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Stop trying to be right for one week.
As demonstrated by the points above, I don't feel like I'm right -- ever. I have my perspective, but I acknowledge it as being only that -- it doesn't mean I'm trying to be "right."
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SBT says, plan, do, observe results, adjust as necessary...
Your challenge: Current reality: My H carries strong feelings for his college sweetheart. My problem: I don't know how to have a healthy M when there's another "love," especially when reality can never compete with fantasy. SBT: Tell me one specific thing I should do this minute, proactively or in response to the question, and the intended goal behind the action, what to observe, and potentially what to adjust.
