I am fortunent to have full disability from private insurance company and SS. I truly see a clear pattern of increased anxiety and bipolar syptoms when husband pulls antic like paying fast and loose by not paying bills on time, or screwing around with the mortgage, or the timing of my support check.
The extreme symptoms of paranoia over the past three years, with a combination of therapy and anti-psychotics, we finially have under control. So much so, that I know when "reality" or more specially, a "mind game" such as the surveillence begins - and I simply ignore it, or if possible phone the police and forget about. I have control, finially, to not let that crap scare me any longer. Furthermore, the neighbors here have now witnessed servellence if this home. And, I have photo documentation.
The worst part of that phase of paranoia was that I could tell people were not believing me. Even my therapist at the time (changed theripist). My phychiastrist has believed me all along, and explained paranoia always starts with something in reality - you must develop the skill not to let it spin out of control. Therefore, for now, I do not have to take the anti-phscotic.
My life is very simple, although, the medications do indeed make simple tasks very difficult. Due to the addition stress, anxiety, and insomnia (over the possbility of a trial, or losing my home) caused Psychiatrist to increase doses of mood stabilizers to control bi-polar 2 is nothing less than a zombee drug. It is paralyzing, but a bettermood stablizer than the other options, believe me. With beniodizapines at night, it works on insomnia pretty well.
Not sure how increased AD really effect me. I am sleeper. When sleep gets regular again, I can try my ADHD med in daytime. I'm anxious to try the new on as Redilin just knocked me out.
Doc believes once this is behind me my syptoms will descrease. I just can let him push my buttons. Changing that AmEx to a fake email was so stupid, and may have unknown consequences, I know why he did it. He doesn't trust me and also, he doesn't trust the computer systems. But making up an address is dumb. That's why I got flustered at first - "MaMa steppin in to fix things!". But soon, I will have to accept that our bunnies will no longer be any of my business, once he buys me out. And that is that. Indeed the judge will likely profer a much better buy out price then we have lower ourselves to.
it is so painful, that I am no longer needed in the business. It took a life time savings to get it. And I will get a buy-out less what's owed, and he will proper with the future of the business.
I suppose these are matters I will struggle with for some time. Thank for your suggestions Mr. Bond. There is nothing more I would like to do than to move back to where I came from - the great city of Chicago. Yas
Married 27 Years Together 32 Years 4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08 Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
