Thanks labug. I did a good job, I think of being quiet, responding when asked, and staying calm.
Well, that turned out to be interesting but I'm not sure it was very productive.
It started out well, and I made sure to tell that C that my W was a good mom, loves our kids, and we're hoping to come out of this with some common goals. So things were calm and happy at the start. The C was impressed that we would come together to discuss telling the kids, means we're both really good parents and are trying to have their best interest at heart during this.
The C then asked what are differences were. W wants to tell them right away so we're all together for the rest of the school year to help them process. I can see her point. I want to wait as long as possible so that processing doesn't interfere with their schooling, sports, plays, etc. The summer is a better time for this. My DB C also helped me in this direction.
The C suggested that we find someone to be able to layout all of our issues with and help us to develop a parenting plan. I told her I liked that idea also as I have wanted to do that for some time. Even though I didn't say it, I was referring to MWD and the co-parenting intensive. But my W, who has been passionately opposed to it, knew immediately what/who I was referring to. I could see her tense up, set her jaw, etc when she gets angry. She got up got a drink, sat back down, and went off telling the C how she hates the idea of going to see someone associated with DB. I immediately tried to back up her up and told the C that I could see why as it might feel like she's getting ambushed.
Several times for the rest of the hour the C would point out the need for us to compromise and that getting some help either from "this DB person, or some other mediator locally" would be beneficial. This only made the W more upset. I'm guessing this is not at all what she thought was going to happen when she made the appt.
By the end of the hour, she was crying, the C offered to see us again. I said I would be open to that. My W didn't really say much of anything and she went out the door, got in the car, drove away and left me there. I had to walk home, fortunately not far and the walk was good for me.
Not sure where to go next. Suggestions? Last night I tried to just stay away, and we've not seen much of each other today. The weekend will have us busy with kid things, and I'm gone early next week for work for three days. Do I bring it up? Do I suggest going again? Really at a loss here.
