1. Do you acknowledge that it's there? I acknowledge that there is a problem in me that manifests itself in our M. I don't acknowledge some deep-rooted pain from my childhood that is somehow negatively impacting everything I do today. I can list just as many happy things about my childhood as unhappy, and I can't speak to any trauma.
SBT would say get out of the pattern.
Looking at your posts and responses, there is a pattern.
Stop making excuses... coming up with reasons why you will not do...
When you find yourself not wanting to act in positive ways with your H, stop those thoughts and do the positive actions... there is your SBT.
Originally Posted By: Crazyville
2. do you want to do something about? Yes, I want to do something about it.
Then DO something.
SBT will not tell you to read a book.
SBT will tell you to focus on a positive outcome and act in positive ways.
Originally Posted By: Crazyville
3. what are you going to do? That's what I'm trying to figure out. If I had that answer, I probably wouldn't need to be here.
While you may not yet know if you want to have a positive and functional M with your H, do you want to have positive Rs with everyone? You can't pick and choose who you want to have positive interactions with, otherwise you are holding on to the negative patterns.
If you do not want to save your M, or if you end up D regardless of what happens, you can use your H and your M as practice for the future, future Rs and possibly even a future M.
SBT says, plan, do, observe results, adjust as necessary...
It can be observed that you are not getting into the DO phase...
So observing the results would suggest you are not committed to SBT...
