When operating from SBT, with a coach or counsellor, in the truest form of staying in the present without investigating the past, there is a huge responsibility placed on the subject.
See, every time you are asked to do something, you bring up the past behaviours of your H.
SBT in how you would like it to be say, stay in the present, work towards the future. We say here, beginner's mind because you have to act in a way that there IS NO HISTORY with you and your H.
If you are committed to SBT, the DO NOT bring up the past. Suggestions of how to do things, how to act around your H, the new patterns that you need to establish to create a different and hopefully positive and better R with your H... you would need to do these things.
Some counsellors may look to the past not to relive the past, but to understand the causes of the patterns and hopefully develop a plan to work you past those patterns.
This is completely up to you.
DO...
or don't do...
You are reading some great books. In reading, you are trying to understand why. And from what I can see, you are looking for that answer and magic bullet. Something that fits in with the way you want to see things, that fits your paradigm... that justifies... And as we take the time to read and understand, we can come to that "aha" moment...
but at that moment, we need to do.
So do now or do later...
and when you feel you are justified in saying you tried... well... really consider the difference between your thoughts and the reality of your actions...
