We have been married for 11 years but together for almost 19. This is his second marriage, my first. Throughout the years, we've had much love. There have hardly been any fights but we've had some lack of communication here and there. Overall, I would say our marriage has been pretty good.
The last couple of years I've been unemployed. I was getting unemloyment income for most of that time but it has since run out. In that time I have been diligently looking for a job but keep getting shot down or not replied to at all. I've had a couple of temp jobs here and there but nothing permanent. And with the depression and frustration of not having a job, I have not been in any kind of intimate mood. I know that this has been hard on us but it's hard for me to feel good about myself, let alone be intimate.
So a couple of months ago my husband finally confronts me about how he feels...that we haven't had sex and that I haven't gotten a job. So, wanting to keep my marriage on track, I give in to the sex part, even though I was not feeling very intimate. It lasted for about 2 weeks but then we got back into the sexless routine. I continue looking for work but am still unemployed. We are surviving off of his income and I know it's been hard but never knew that it would come to this.
The other day he confronts me again, we get into a huge argument and he says he wants to separate. So, I stayed at my mothers for a couple of days. I come back home, hoping we can discuss the problem only to find out he wants a divorce. I was floored. He tells me his mind is made up. He loves me but isn't IN love with me. He's tired of not being happy and wants out. I never knew or even imagined he was feeling this bad about our marriage. To me, he is my best friend, my heart, my soul. The person I can't live without. And yet he wants to live without me. I just don't get it. Can you please try to help me understand. I suggested counseling but he's done. This is killing me.
I was on another forum and had The Divorce Remedy suggested to me. I read the whole thing in one day and have tried to apply what I've learned. I'm just so concerned that this is a last resort effort and feel like I don't have any time to get this resolved. I want our marriage to work. I love him with all of my heart. I'm hoping he will want it to work too...eventually. Because lord knows he doesn't want to now. :-(
