Phew! well it's been a long time, and I'm still dealing with all this and, well not really getting anywhere. I have been going to counselling on my own every week since my last post - H went on his own a couple of times and we've been together a few times too. H still sticks to the same story - he made all the stuff in the letter up. I haven't contacted OW again. I'm so stuck and now my Counsellor is just saying if I decide I want out I need to take my time and make sure I can financially "survive" it. I'm so confused. I have lately felt more loving feelings towards H but stop myself acting on them because of all the pain I feel still. I still think he is lying and had a PA as suggested in his letter and my problem is really that I feel that if he admitted it I could deal with it better and perhaps allow myself to be in love with him and be loved by him, but while ever I continue to think he has but not know for sure and think he's lying I don't think I can get past it and don't think I can stay with him. I have no friends, my family don't want to know as it's "our business" and I just don't know what to do. I think I want to be with him but not if he's lying - there's no way to know if he's lying and it is killing me, little by little, every day, my heart breaks all over again. Is it really possible to get back to a normal loving relationship again with doubt in your head or do they have to come clean/prove the truth for it to work??
