I have a heavy heart tonight. Things just seem sort of bleak. I called w on Tuesday night, and she didn't answer. I knew it was aft my d went to sleep. I probably shouldn't have called, but wanted to talk about our d. I went to bed and lay there feeling sorry for myself because I was assuming she wasn't taking my call.
I have a tendency to use my jump to conclusions mat, and sometimes spin negative thoughts. She texted me about 2 hours later saying she missed my call and asked me what was up. I felt better after that--but I guess I need to be doing a better job of getting a life.
I haven't been doing that great lately at my sales job and got moved onto a different sales team from the one I had been on for a while. I think it will be a good transition in the long-run, but the transition can be a little difficult.
Wife let me come by her rental last night and see our d, and talked with her a little bit. She opened up a little about work. She was putting some stuff together for a project she was working on, and she was able to let our d assist with it.
I asked her what was going on with that project, and she explained it to me. I still feel that she's more open, but I still need to take things slowly. Despite the progress, she still is guarded. She did smile and make some eye contact with me--and of course the antics with me and my d made her smile as well.
I keep remininding myself that thoughts are things, and I try to parry each negative thought with a positive one. When I think about the difficulties of trying to find another mate--I just visualize my wife moving back in, or saying she still loves me, or coming up and hugging me. I'm not saying I get it right all the time, but I'm getting better.
I think I need to call my coach, but might wait--I don't want to cash in my last two sessions just yet.
I'm still wondering if I should ask her in May--a month before her lease is up, if she'd like to move back to the house. Is that a bad Idea?
"Things are never bad; it's the way you think about them." -Epictetus
