Hey ETB! Great to hear from you! Glad you're doing so well. I like that you posted: Is it that you cant accept this happened to you, or is it you can't accept that this happened to him?
Thats a very good question I will apply to myself!
The 3 C's are the best. WE didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it.!
All of that is really going to help me.
So he's making contact again huh? Ok...let me warn you! Which I know you understand this. This is where you can really start to backslide on your progress!! I think it's because there hasn't been enough NC for us Lbs. I speak from experience.
I was feeling so good and confident about myself and then xh and I started contact again. He actually initiated it. It's all about the kids, but its ALOT about the kids, several times a day about the kids sometimes. Now this really threw me for a loop. I really have been having these huge surgers of anger and resentment towards him. Then I calmed down and enjoyed the contact and the fact my co parent decided to come back and help me out. We recently had a big health issue with D9, and he stepped up to the plate, no questions asked, and acted like the man I married. We even went to court yesterday, and he's still talking to me. All about the kids though, but still really seems like he's trying to reconnect to the kids or there's guilt.
Hell he even made me a decent offer for the divorce and we settled! 2 months ago this was someone that was telling me it was all his fault he was broke because I hired an attorney!So I don't know WTH is going on here, but it makes me nervous and had really pushed me to think about things again.
So hang in ther ETB. If you can, I would pull back and NC for a few more months and then see how you feel. Given we had a crisis with our little girl, well all divorce BS was out the window at that point, as it should've been. My expectations were for him to pull back, and have very little contact from here on out, especially since we had to go to court. Nope, he was home texting me later that night about the kids.
Maybe he just wants to be friends and he let go of his anger, which is good. However Im not at that stage yet. I don't feel comfortable with being friends past a certain point with him.
