Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

No Alanon or Teen yet. S16 saw counselor last week. Scheduled for next week. He tests for driver's license tomorrow! AHHH!!!!! That makes a mama nervous.

So, here is my update. Volunteering weekly at church on host team. This is great for me...had actually stopped going to church because H said he wasn't anymore. Did I mention that my father is a pastor? Been going to church our entire lives, loving it, ordained Deacon, family volunteers at church (S16 and S18 in youth band and doing production - H and I in nursery), in small groups always, and so he says this and I JUST STOP GOING???? Whoa....so codependent. LOL!

Went to Botanical Garden about being outdoor cooking assistant, which is AMAZING! I will go up there weekly. Apparently, unlike many docent positions or gift shop positions, this is a nice mix of male and female and the average age is 40s! Woohoo! So excited about that. Old Navy friends live right around the corner too.

Have started thinking about what I HAVE and that is amazing help.

Read in devotional yesterday that old friend from Virginia sent...a CRAZY appropriate God breeze of a devotional about "you are on the right path, it is lonely human-wise, etc" which is just CRAZY because literally the word I woke up with burning a hole in my brain was LONELY. So much non solicited advice about "file now" and "protect yourself" and I could scream. I am NOT going to give up TODAY. Tomorrow is another day but for NOW I WILL FIGHT for my marriage and PRAY for my husband. So, leaning on God and NOT worrying so much.

HAve completely STOPPED thinking about spying on him and wondering what he is doing and detaching....it is amazing HOW much better I feel.

Completely cleaned the house and moved my stuff into his closet and armoire.

Have been journalling the codependent no more book and realizing I DID lose myself! Wow...that is a shocker.

Would love to know what your sister did mishka about chef school. Looked into it a while ago but decided with the economy it would not be a steady plan. I am so excited about the visiting chefs at the Botanical Gardens. Food is my passion.

Planning a spring break trip to the beach with S16 and his friends. Planning spring break trip to Germany with S18.

So, here is the R update. H said he needed to use printer today at house for taxes, etc. Told him I would be in Atlanta all day so fine by me. He wanted to leave me a lock for the bedroom last time remember for my privacey...what do I have to hide? House clean, bathroom neat, etc, left doors wide open, NPR playing, lights on, nice and cozy house of mine. Did NOT install a lock. A 180??? Who knows but I did NOT try to run into him and I am recalling some comments about me being emotional coming up during counseling. So, emotional I was not. I was absent. I think this counts. You need space. I am giving you space.

He left long note basically apologizing for taking things "in haste" last week (massage oil included) and returned all items. Wow. For those of you who know "pilot" types, this is HUGE action.

Told me to take care and have a good weekend. This is a change...he hasn't said a thing about what I am doing for the entire month, shoot longer than that. Silence is my only weapon. I will continue. I understand the believe none/half theories, etc. So I am just happy to see some progress in limbo land. Progress is good, right?

Another 180...looking like I have my ACT together. House neat as a pin...bedroom a total wreck like a nut case lived here when I left over winter break and he came to stay with S16.

Responding to his emails/texts only and initiating NOTHING. And these are about kids and money only. Saying nothing about what I am doing, thinking, etc, after I let him know I saw "pilot killer" Fox. LOL!

On porch, cat and dog for company, S18 home this weekend from college, warm day, roses trimmed, bird feeders full, blue birds nesting, plans later with a friend and tomorrow as well, and at peace with the situation.

Looking for more 180, GAL ideas???? Anyone????