Thoughts about this letter from WAW?

[PrincessP]

MissingMyFamily,

I am in your shoes as a W who has been left two months ago. My H has said these things to me in two heated moments - the night he walked out and a week later. He said it a third time to my therapist who he knows. I heard the words that "this is done and it has been on his mind for a long time now." Looking back I am slowly but surely seeing the signals he dropped along the way, especially the PA he had with a colleague for many months. My H told me that "I make him feel bad about himself." He has depression; while he sees an individual therapist and takes antidepressants I can tell the illness (and depression is an illness) is not being managed better.

My H and I have been together for 19 years, only the last 9 married. We have a beautiful and intelligent (three weeks shy of)4 year old child. I know he loves me, I can see it even though he is being and acting far from loving right now.

I just read "Divorce Remedy" and came upon a friend from my past who essentially gave me the same advice. You have to patiently go through the process of reminding the WAS who they fell in love with. Somewhere along the way you lost it, and so did I. For me, it was the burden of taking care of literally everything from housework to managing the bills, being a career woman, and adding mom into the personal and professional resume of life. I took out my frustrations on my H because that's what humans do; we reach for and lash out at the person (or people) closest to us subconciously believing that they will take it. By no means I am willing to take full responsibility for the situation at hand but it won't get me anywhere right now to make him understand his contributions. Being the person who does the leaving makes them feel powerful. The fact your W is sending this weepy letter about how you are good and she has moved on, it says otherwise (in my opinion.) She is looking for justification for her actions and the power she feels by sending you these words quells her sadness. It is similar to when people drink to forget (or so they think.) The pain won't go away.

I started the 180; really just started less than a week ago. Sometimes I feel good and sometimes I feel like curcling up into a ball. I go on for myself, our child and for love of my H. He needs reminding that I am the woman who was the rock of his life.