I'm not sure. Last night's talking was not relationship talking, we had a big three-hour marathon talk Tuesday night about that, and I was left somewhat hopeless. Hence my decision to get started on the loving distance. J's complaints are that I never do anything loving toward him, never take his needs into consideration, never thank him, and always hold grudges over past behavior. Some of those things are true, and I am working in IC to change the things I think need to be changed. I apologized to him sincerely for his hurts.
Last night, he just wanted companionship, so that's what I gave him. But I stopped hugging him (I was allowing myself one hug per day), and when he came in from school, I didn't go find him in his room and kept to myself, but cheerfully. He was much more solicitous than usual. He offered to help me with things, and did nice things for me unasked. I thanked him cheerfully each time.
This morning, he forgot the mail he was going to take to the post office for me, so I brought it with me to take to the post office after work. He emailed me this morning to tell me he was sorry that he forgot about it. I told him that I was sure it just slipped his mind and that I appreciated him doing that for me. He emailed me again at his lunch break to tell me "You're welcome."
Compared to how he was just two days ago and for the weeks since he dropped the "ILYB" bomb, this is a big change. It gives me some hope, but I am going to stay my course with loving distance and working on myself. I even found a belly dance class in my town that's starting soon, so I'm going to join it. I'm very excited about that.
