I thought about this post and the responses a lot last night. I think it's a wonderful gesture to do things for others, either because you want to help someone out, or to be nice or show love or because they've asked. What's not so wonderful is when the other person expects you to put their needs over yours without reason.
Example 1: Honey, I have x, y, and z to do tonight before I get home and then I really need to work on the taxes but the cable is out. Could you call the cable company and see what's up?
Example 2: Purg's sitch above.
Detaching includes not doing things for others that they can do for themselves. That's what creates the crazy codependent relationships. We are given more responsibility and we take on more responsibility and before you know it we're the controlling b!tch they want to leave.
I see the situation continuing into "O the cable's out, I'd better call before H gets home or he'll be angry" "Gee the furnace is broken I better take care of that or he'll be angry" "the DW is broken, better get it taken care of ..." You get the picture. We teach people how to treat us.
I don't want that in a new relationship, the feeling that I have to take on everything to keep everyone happy. I want a respectful relationship where responsibilities are shared.
It's difficult to think of these things when in the midst of trying to save a R but if I don't know what I want, how will I ever be able to get it.
