On days like this, I can't keep my mind on now. It goes back. We were in love. We were so happy. Life was... fantastic. What I had always dreamed of. Walks in the park with the kids and a basket full of picnic food. Where did it go?
And you have to honor those memories. If not, you will become what you have accused your spouse of being.
You were happy, and in love. Doesn't mean it can't happen again....
Cherish and honor that part, and own the bad parts too. One can't go without the other.
Smile when you think of those things. Without all of them, you wouldn't have to worry about this....... \/ \/ \/
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And it goes to the future. Will living in two houses break my youngest daughter the way it broke my oldest? By middle school, the kids of divorce and the kids of solid homes have mostly separated into two groups. My kids will go over to their friend's house with the alcoholic parent and the fish-out-of-water step-parent and have to decide whether to join in when their friends start with the drinking and drugs.
I know kids with married parents have problems, too. "Kids are resilient. They will bounce back from this." Grr! I hate it when people say that. Even more than I hate when they say, "If it's meant to be, then.." whatever it is they say. I'm not sure what people say after that because the fatalism makes everything I see and hear go red, if that is possible.
Kids are resilient...although that doesn't happen automatically.
It becomes more of what they see. Kids learn from watching the actions of the people they love the most. They respect, and emulate what they want to be like. We, as parents, seldom to have a chance to see that. The daily aspects of life get in the way. It comes so natural to us, and to them, that we fail to bear witness to it.
They feed off of strength, and they learn character through their parents actions. They will triumph, and they will struggle. Love them through both, and show them the way.
Through that, they BECOME resilient....
They absorb what we teach...
Don't be afraid to tell them that it is NOT okay to do the things that you know they shouldn't.
