Suddenly Separated in VA -- need your help

[mimivac]

I think you're right the continue on your path and not put too much stock in his actions. Seems like the pursuer/distancer dynamic Crazyville has been talking about on her thread.

Bug, that is exactly what is happening right now, and I am struggling somewhat to not put much stock in it. I am afraid I am interpreting a bit and getting into hopeful feelings when I KNOW I've been down this road before and it has led to diappointment.

H revealed in MC yesterday that he felt anxious, uncomfortable, and lonely when I went to New Orleans and did not contact him. He said he now knew what it felt like to be left behind. He thought I was giving him a "well-deserved taste of his own medicine." I replied that it was not my intention to punish him (which it truly wasn't), but to simply go on vacation, and that I didn't contact him much because we are separated at the moment.

He is still living with me while he looks for an apartment to rent. Last night he mentioned that maybe we should rent out our second home instead of selling it. This was odd since part of the reason he gave for separating is that he no longer wanted the responsibility of a M that included things like our second home. But now he is suggesting renting it out and becoming landlords -- certainly more responsibility than simply selling it. He also said that he felt anxious about getting his own place. I validated the feeling, but didn't fish for a reason.

Honestly, even though it seems that we are going in a positive direction, I am trying very hard to take the long view and not expect any concrete results from this. He has NOT said in any way, shape, or form that he wishes to reconcile. He is still very uncertain about the M and whether it can work out. I fully expect that he will find an apartment to rent soon, and I don't want to be caught off guard and be devastated by that.

So, head down, continue focusing on my own life, making my own plans, and continuing with LRT. I want to start being more aggressive with GAL. It seems that whenever something happens with H, my focus shifts and I want to counter that.

Mimi