Your second question is harder. He said that for a very long time he felt rejected by me. That our relationship was more like brother and sister. Not enough intimacy and especially sex. I admit to all of it. I just plain took his love for granted.
He is very much a Mr. Nice Guy. He would never really call me out on my non attentiveness. Since we retired I found it hard to be together 24/7. That was 5 years ago. I just found myself pulling farther away from him. I have always felt, he tells me wrongly, that he was someone trying to control me. I think that goes back to my childhood issues (trust, loss).
I feel the walls I put up to protect myself (from loss of him) has totally pushed him away from me. The irony.
