Separation, Settlement, or Servellience?

[Yasu]

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder 2 after my husband abandoned me for the second time in Greece, upon my return, several months later.

I previously had been on disability (privately insured and SS) since 2001 for severe depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. These were kept under control with medication. The trigger was years of on the job discrimination and retaliation for speaking out about matters concerning illigal hiring practices I observed on a search committee (first amendment suits) as well as upholding University standards regarding student complaints about sexual harrassment of a Professor in our department.

As a junior colleague, I was expected to keep quite about these matters. As I did not, my life at work was made as miserable as possible. Trying to contend with issues and responsibilities at work, defend myself against frioulious lawsuits brought against me to cause pressure, and too, my own suit - that were eventually taken by contingency, and reached the US Supreme Court - in the end, took it's toll on my health. I made it eight years on the job, until physically and mentally it was no longer possible.

So, during the later part of the mid 90's, to cope with migrain pain, I developed a problem with the narcotic medication. Once discovered, that was nipped in the bud. Concurrently, at that time, anti-depressants were being prescribed to me. Gradually the amounts and types increased. Then, anti-anxiety medications came on board. When insomnia crept upon me, that was the next thing that had to be treated.

So once I stopped working, I was on a full menu of drugs. Gradually, doses were cut back. My husband did not want to pay the money for the cobra (takes 2 years for Medicare - and then some for Bushes drug plan to be inacted), so, my doctor began to provide a good part of my meds in samples. Everything was in total control from the time I accepted the loss of my career around 2003. Until - the first abandonment in 2006 - I knew, in my gut, something was up.

We reconciled that. I assisted my husband in his dream to have his own restaurant. It was a fine investment. He wanted immediately to get us into yet a third house near a restaurant, and then - the 2008 abandonment in Greece.

The Dr. Tells me, that this crisis is what caused a person, with such a propensity, to develop bipolar disorder. And my medication menu is rediculously paralyzing at this point now. No, I did not believe this diagnosis, Not sure I do now. But I went to a number of doctors that concluded same. At least current doctor observed me for a few months before making diagnosis of bi-polar 2. And also, he can offer an explanation of how it "just happened."

And yes, I'm angry about it - and partially in denial about it. But I have seen enough strange behavior on my part, after the fact, (as well I am totally ashamed of many things I've said and done while apparently manic), that I will listen to this doctor and do exactly what he says (even though I don't like it).

So, Mr. Bond, you have reached the journaling thread of the over-educated manic. Sorry it took so long to answer your question. Yes, I've been on meds for various reasons since, and I really forgot to mention this........

Not six months after I got my job at UGA, my husband packed his stuff and left. Within a few months, he wanted to come back. It was actually, this action, and his painful, antagozizing visits to the house, that caused my M.D. To prescribe the first Prozac pill for me - in Fall of 1994. Long before my legal and political problems with the University.

Isn't funny how I remembered that last? Yas