deployment to divorce 1

[31nheartbroken]

I don't think I would ever turn him in to the Navy because I don't want to ruin his career or cause him to lose money which would adversely effect the kids and I. I just want him to think that it is a possibility and he values his career greatly and I am not so sure he would want to jeopardize it by continuing to see her.

Do you think he hasn't thought about this?

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I think that he thought about this while on deployment, but I think that since he's come home, he thinks he is free and clear of the Navy finding out.

And the last part, is that who you want to be going forward?

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He has never ever been the type of person to jeopardize his career like this. He has seen many, many people make this same mistake and always talked about how stupid they were and how ridiculous it was. Until the aliens, or whoever, took control of him, he has always been pretty honest, reliable, and had great morals and values. If there is a chance that person will come back then I am more than willing to move forward with him.

as 25 says: Keep the road home paved and smooth, and I I don't think that includes being a doormat. But rather allowing them to travel their path and make their mistakes and suffer whatever consequences life holds for them.

Wouldn't I be a doormat if I continue to allow him to think that he has pulled the wool over my eyes?

Holding the sword of Damocles over his head is a major control device, don't you think?

How do I be honest with him about what I know, be true to myself, and not have it be a control device? Do I just be honest with him and tell him, but expect no particular outcome? Do I just approach him and say, hey I know you haven't been completely honest with me, is there something you want to tell me? Then if he doesn't tell just leave it at that and tell him nothing of what I know?

This is all very new to me, this other person thing. All that I used to know about him, he was never the type to do this! It's all just so confusing. I don't know anymore if it's MLC, I think it is because that's the only explanation I have for him making such poor choices these days!!