Thanks for the post. I realized last night that my fear was controlling me and that there are a lot of parrallels between my current sitch and the job offer fiasco.
I KNOW that the A is a train wreck, but somehow I BELIEVE that they are whooping it up and that I am left in the dust. I now know that this belief is rooted in fear. Fear of not having her back. I am now working on this. Taking the new job is a first step. I am not moving anywhere, the job is in town.
This is the first thing I am doing for ME. I was even afraid of letting my boss/co-workers down. Now that is pathetic. But I now know this comes from my childhood and not wanting to disappoint my parents. How sad is that?
When I announced to my bros and father about the job, I don't think I ever received so much praise and genuine happiness from them in my life.
They all said the same thing you did, Seminole. They congratulated me on finally doing something for me, that would benefit me, and that would greatly help out to my quality of life.
I have been detaching little by little. There are days I don't even think about W or OM. But then there are days that I have the nightmares or the sleepless nights between 2am and 5 am. I am trying to work through it.
The next big step for me is getting my own apartment. I am actually looking forward to it. I definately can get a decent place now and still have money to save.
Well, time to hit the gym again!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
