11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[Yasu]

My first thread was too convoluted, and negative. However, I will keep it as a journal as I tend to write in too much detail.

Seriously, my case is at the 11th hour - I think (been here before). This new year begins the fourth year of separation/devorce proceedings. I fully comprehend DB/DR now, and like many, made early mistakes. Over the past six months, thru a period of going completely dark (which included staying out of town), I was able to gain footing in the area of detachment.

While out of town, my GAL was to renovate the rental house at my own expense - which is just about complete. Prior to my efforts, we had been noticed that our tenants were arrested and drugs were found in the home. The commander said our could be seized. With the poor condition or the rental, and fallen trees, I knew we had a big problem over there - that embarrassed the neighbors in this upstanding community.

I'm really proud that I brought the house back! I never thought of it as a GAL until now! I made many friends and connected with old friends in the area, as I used to live there myself.

It was seven years since I had seen the house, and I can say that my renovation easily saved the house from being condemned.

Well, I need to start actively marketing the rental now. That is the next GAL.

Back to the Marital Issue:

A point came where we did recive another offer from his attorney. This time we considered the offer because there was "some" realistic movement. Two "Do Something Different" things occurred:

1. They received the First Offer from us since the failed mediation over 3 years ago.
2. This was really an unmistakable signal that I accept the divorce (which I do).

They took 49 days to chew on our offer before counter-offering (we did not put a dead-line on as they do - usually 7-10 days). That was a very good offer that he should have taken.


Again they came with another offer, that also contained a threat that they would put the case on the trial calander. We bent overt backwards, as far as is possible (for me to support myself) with another counter, they came back again - and the offer is unfair, and not possible, and they gave us the threat of trial again. That brings us to present day, their deadline being the end of February.

Early on, just prior or at the beginning of these negotiations, I came out of the dark H will not take my calls, so, I left a friendly VM. Over the weeks, I have just left business matters on his VM. One time I had a gut feeling something was wrong because of all the calls from the mortgage company, and just some instinct. I VM my gut feels and concern.

Now, something is strange going on. Bills are late. Twice my check payments are late, and that has had a serious effect on my finances (with my expenses on rental). The check to the mortgage was short $25.53. They cal time after time. Both my phones, his cell, and his work. There was a $100 late added because of this shortage. I left VM's as usual around the 16th when calls started coming in. It appeared to me he was ignoring everything and I handed to the attorney.

When I learned we weregoing to get a ding on credit report, again, I tried to get in touch with him last week, and his mailbox is full. I called his work, he was not there - which is very strange for a Saturday. Monday came, more calls from mortgage company, they tell me it is my last chance to avoid a ding on credit - so I paid it. I called him again on cell - mailbox still full. Other business yesterday, mailbox still full.

I even posted a prayer - because I sense something is wrong. He would never let that mailbox get fill - no way.

So thank for reading current situation. If you have any other idea for me other than:

1. act "as if" I accept the divorce

2. Give him a fair chance to take care of his responsibility, then enforce boundaries, no threat, no discussion, he simply is noticed by his council instead.

3. Only call for business matters. (No more "instinct" BS backslides.)

Actually, I have no other choice but to participate in reasonable settlement talks to that we remain cooperative in the eyes of the judge (who reads these settlement documents to determine who pays legal fees after the case is over).


Areas Where I NeedTo Improve:

1. I got to get a grip on my stress and absentmindedness. I have been making mistakes.

2. I must meet another goal on my list.

3. I must plan to get out of doors - this is a big one.

Please help me with DB advice in the 11th hour. Yas