When the time comes for me to tell H I know about OW I am gonna wait for the next face to face opportunity.
What is your motive for doing this? I know what my motive would be. What is your expectation?
I just always feel like the important talks are much better to do face to face. I feel like text is way to impersonal and he can hang up in a phone call or interrupt. I just want to make sure he hears every word I say. I would also like to see the look on his face because he thinks he's actually getting away with something. The only expectation I have is to let him know. I don't want anything in return, no apology, no explanation. His choice to be with this OW is considered fraternization and he can get in ALOT of trouble with the Navy. I feel like if I put it out there on the table and he realizes that he's not fooling anyone, but himself he might start to think about the impact his choice might have on his career. Hopefully, eventually, he will choose not to be with her anymore and maybe focus more on his time with his children.
Originally Posted By: labug
Quote:
As far as letting him in on the fact that he can't file in FL, I think I will wait until he threatens to go ahead and file again.
Why do you need to tell him? He's a big boy, he'll find out and if he discovers it on his own he won't be able to blame you for it.
Have you thought about doing NC except for kid emergencies?
Lol!! I do like the idea of just letting him file ($450 to file), but I would probably have to contest his residency claim because I am afraid the judge would just push the paperwork through. I could be totally wrong and the judge might look at him and laugh and say, you can't file this D here, we have no jurisdiction. I just don't want to take that chance because FL has no waiting period/separation period before you can file.
As far as NC, it is a mix at this point, was very dark for a while and contact has increased over the last week. Sometimes full contact (meaning I will carry on a conversation via phone or text, but only if he initiates, generally about money, D, kids, etc.). Other times it is grey where I will only answer the questions, via text, that I want to and when I want to (this one used to make him mad, but now it forces him to pick up the phone and call me, PROGRESS). At this point, I still consider myself fairly dark just because I am not the one initiating ANY kind of contact, except once to say "nevermind don't come over this am" and another to say "money's there. have a good day".
Yesterday he called and texted about tax stuff and once those are filed I'm sure he won't contact me and if he doesn't then there will be NC.
As far as telling him anything about OW or filing in NC, I will not initiate those communications either. If and when I tell him it will be during a conversation he initiated unless it's a face to face.
Me31 H33 M11 T15 S10, D4 H deploys 01/11 H R&R two weeks 10/11 ILYBNILWY/sep 12/11 homecoming 1/12 pos D 1/13
