When it's a one-way street...part 3

[2thepoint]

So, we had a defensive exchange this morning (H attacking, me defending.) I didn't realize it until afterward, when I thought about it. I was still in bed, so maybe I just wasn't awake enough. Even thinking about it, though, I'm not sure how it could have been handled any better. Here's the convo:

(H comes to my BR, I'm still in bed....)
H: If I get S to hustle, I can drop him off at school this morning (it's usually something I do.)
W: That's alright, I need to get up anyway. Paul is coming this morning to look at the furnace.
H: You were going to tell me when he was coming
W: I did tell you. I told you yesterday that if he couldn't make it then, he would be coming today.
H: Well you didn't give me a specific time
W: I don't have a specific time
H: Well I have a meeting at 8:00 so I don't know if I can be here. I can still drop off S if I hurry.
W: Get to your meeting, it's no big deal, I'll drop him off.

How could this have been handled differently? I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between defensiveness and just sharing information. At least I didn't attack back, even though it was just below the surface, like if he was so concerned about what went on with the furnace, then perhaps he could have taken responsibility for it himself, etc. etc. I mean the thing is broken. It's not like I'm wanting to redecorate it.

Anyway, I definitely felt attacked. I believe I went defensive. What could I have done differently?

I think it is what was said or done yesterday that triggered what occurred this morning. So not so much what you could have done differently today in the heat of the moment but what could you have done yesterday to head off a potential conflict.

Think about how your H appears to need plenty of prep time. BTW, this has come up in prior posts here so think about that. He seems to need clear and precise information in order for him to process properly.

Also, you normally take son to school but here your H is saying he would. So, why not let him do it and thank him for it. Then he feels good about doing something that helped you and you have more time to prepare for the furnace repairman AND you might have also dampened some of the conflict that began to surface in the interaction.

Just some things to consider, CV.