That is a sad picture you paint of your husband leaving the little boy, soon after his small inquiry for his daddy to stay longer. You better believe to is selfish. In that particular situation, he should have stayed to put the child to bed.
Oh, dear. After the above, I would have recommended, very soon, husband needs to buck up, and explain the new arrangement he prefers in living apart from his family. Or, maybe a therapist should be consulted. Would it be best to live a lie, or a pseudo-comfortable limbo, for a year whilst husband is in Afghanastan? Can kids read what's really going on anyway?
Perhaps the year away would be helpful in the recovery of the marriage. Is that a possibility? I cannot imagine this situation with children. How complicated.
Married 27 Years Together 32 Years 4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08 Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
