I understand. It is difficult to teach our children anything different than we were taught or know ourselves.

Sometimes, life is about experimenting.

What makes me feel stuck in how to provide you with SBT solutions for your relationship with your H is that I feel that anything that is offered will be responded to with a reason for why you cannot or will not do it.

I was just going through some information which again stressed how important it is both to encourage good behaviours (as opposed to punishing bad behaviours) as well as how important it is to give, without the expectations of receiving.

I completely understand how it feels when we get to a point where we just feel like we've been giving and giving and giving and have received nothing in return.

One thing that I would like to put out there is, your H probably has NO idea how to give you what you need. And I understand that you are waffling on not wanting anything from him.

What would life be like if your H gave you exactly what you needed in a way that you wanted it? What is it that you fear, that you might actually get this from your H?

One thing women really have a hard time understanding is that men really are dumb as stumps when it comes to women. We have no idea that we need to be present for them all the time (whenever they need us to be present for them).

So I understand your desire to stay with your H until your S leaves and to make things as emotionally safe and stable for your S.

What I do want to leave you with for the moment is:

Once you leave your H, how do you intend to get what you want from any other man? Do you expect it to magically be there?

One resistance statement to the comment above that people use is, "Well, I will be happy to live my life, alone." I would encourage you to accept that even if you claim and really believe that you may be happy to be alone, the reality is more likely to be that you will eventually have some man (or men) who begin to approach you and court you...

Will you beat them off with sticks?

Do you expect that the romance of the initial dating and honeymoon phase will last forever?

What would prevent you from using your H as an opportunity to practice for these future Rs on how to create a loving and mutually beneficial relationship?