... others will be very hard for me in my sitch, because I'm trying to keep things as stress-free as possible for S. Plus, it's the exact opposite of what I would want to teach S to expect from his future W. ...
The above in bold I find interesting.
You want your son to learn about what you feel he should seek in a wife, in a non-functional M...
Your fear about leaving the M seems completely revolving around your S.
Your S will grow up in an environment where he learns that spouses are at best room-mate friendly. And at worst, that your S should seek to be in a unhappy M, only to satiate his children.
How is he going to learn about the behaviours of a healthy M and the behaviours of a committed and loving W? What lessons will he learn about being a healthy, committed H?
