DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 4)

[BFloat]

eggie! are you having an ok day? what did you end up doing this weekend?

[purgatory]

Long time, no post.... How ya Doin??

[rickb89]

Bananarama....what's up? I did miss you this weekend. Lets see, what did I do? Went to yoga twice, did some home repairs, took son and "daughter" to a breakfast diner, had everyone over to watch The Walking Dead, read, catnapped.

I did have a serious talk with my two oldest boys. They are upset with their Mom and feel that, despite her struggles, she is wiping out our family, and they are worried she is dragging me down in a bad way. They are old enough and mature enough to see it clearly so I handle this very delicately. This is not an easy sitch, balancing being there for her, handling the boy's issues with their Mom, keeping my head above water. I have to make some big decisions soon.

Thanks for asking!

[rickb89]

PURG! It's sweet of you to ask. Honestly Purg I'm at such a crossroads on what to do. I hate everything about D and what that does to everyone in our family. W is pretty far gone still and its tearing up everyone. Still trying to determine how muchof this is the illness and what is just her personality. So much to consider!

I need to catch up on your thread! Howz the neighbor kid? You are so incredible to do that, on top of a new job, and a whacky H.

Hope you're well...(((Purg)))

[rickb89]

Hi guys! Hope everyone is well out there and I'm broadcasting the love to you all.

Frankly I've been walking this walk, while feeling simultaneously fearful, pissed, optimistic, lonely, loved by many, freaked out, calm, muderous rage, and serene love.

I'm constantly open to the divine, open to guidance and facing all this hardship head on. I'm not sure what to do next.

I have a woman i have loved passionately for half my life in desperate need yet is ravaging everthing around her, everyone around her. Its a study in

[purgatory]

I think you've discovered what living with 'unconditional love' feels like. My hat is off to you, sir.
(((((Rick))))))

[rickb89]

Sorry...it posted itself! I was going to say its all contradictory. There's just enough hope every now and then to keep it from being a true black hole.

I focus on me.....and I'm really in the midst of self evaluation....and I'm not in any way a prisoner to her sitch. I wonder how long one goes....missing a partner.....watching your kids suffer....?

[2thepoint]

Hey man, your going to get frog marched off to DB jail if you don't start a new thread soon.

[labug]

Never Rick, he just has to whip out that ... Speedo and all is forgiven.

[rickb89]

Purg...what does unconditonal love mean to you? If I move forward into a new life stage....and a new relationship....then did I fail her...fail me...fail my sons...and the divine? Maybe this is my test in this time on earth....can I/should I lay down my remaining days for her....be a strong as I can be...and live by a vow I didnt make lightly?