Do you want to live in this place with your son where you cannot find a job?
I got a job offer today and accepted. The answer to the Q though is no. We never planned on living here forever. It was discussed in great detail before we made a decision. (I thought our M was in a good place at the time. Looking back I was wrong.) It was a 2 year or so plan. Get experience, make some money, transfer or find a new job back close to family ASAP if/when the time is right.
I have no desire to live here forever. I want to be and to raise my son near all of our family.
It has been a tough decision whether to stay here or go back home. The answer lies in my core responsibily and value. My son's wellbeing and happiness. I would not be able to live with a decision that put 800 miles between him and W. Would that make me a MAN? Putting my interest before his?
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In what way?
I mean there is a wolf here.
Don't you think?
Yes. The wolf is present. I saw a glimpse of his likely reaction if we should talk to him about splitting up. Abandoning him.
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You are watching and waiting for her to come back?
Then what?
I could be guilty of watching and waiting. I am making changes. For me. I am moving forward. What lay ahead? Dunno. I still have hope. If I didn't I would be at the strip club instead of here. Just kiddin.
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What do you want Pulp?
What is your goal?
What kind of man do you aspire to be?
What example can you show your son right now of that man?
I want to keep my family together in one house. I want my old W back, or a new and improved W. If that is not possible, I want the closest thing to it. Two functioning parents working with each other and not against.
My goal is to keep getting better.
I want to be the kind of man only a fool would leave.
My son can see that I am HERE. Always will be. He can count on me. That I have not lost it. That I haven't resorted to the botttle or drugs, slapping her around, slamming doors, yelling and screaming, kicking the dog.(all of which I have seen, from my late mother and her lovers, not from my father.) I hope to break the cycle.
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Which is how you looked when you changed the password.
I agree.
I would like to make boundaries. I have no way of backing them up. "If you do _______ , I will...I will..." I will what. I need help in this area. Any examples of healthy boundary setting?
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Do you like this guy that you see in the mirror? Do you think your W likes and respects him?
Overall I do like that guy. That man is suprising me. There are things I'm still workin on. But I continue to progress. And I don't give a shhh what she thinks. I am doing the best I can with the cards I've got. Many cards she dealt. I am making some mistakes and trying not to make them twice. Learning as much as I can, and folks like you are helping me along.
