You really need to step back from MMSLP, it's one input into the equation, it doesn't define all human interactions now and forever. It is a valuable data point, but it's just that.
That was not a fitness test, my W was truly upset, she wasn't testing me, she doesn't do fitness tests. I read the book too, I would know, and that's not her. Not every relationship conflict is a fitness test.
I did not fold, I maintained that her behavior was inappropriate and discussed it with her again after the kids were asleep. I just prevented her from making a scene in the restaurant in front of the kids by not pressing my point at the time. I further made the point that threatening to storm away from the table was inappropriate, and that if she was going to do that, we weren't going to go to restaurants (boundary).
You have given some people some really good advice, I used to really like what you wrote, but now you are way off the deep end on MMSLP -- it may work for you, it may be exactly the thing you needed for your marriage, but it is not a cure-all and does not apply to every situation.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
