You know, I was so looking forward to seeing my bf. We only see each other about every four mths or so. Before i would have not thought I could deal with that at all, and sometimes i hate it, but thats ONLY sometimes. He has been here almost two weeks and I find that ai am missing my space! My....I will cook when I feel like it....My I will sleep as late as I want. My fear is getting so use to my independence that it will be hard for me to enjoy living with someone perm again. I Love companionship and company from the girls and so forth. I dont want to become my mother. She never remarried and lived a lonely life and died alone. I dont want that. I want family vacations and Holidays again. I have no family here except my son and nephew and my aunt. My son of course is,still angry. My aunt has her own family gathering and that leaves me and nephew. We try to make the best of it. BUT its,sad to me. I gueas thats why I wish xh would be at least civil for our sons sake. I think my son would like that. I feel like son feels pressured. I dont know why they have to continue to be so angry. Everyone has went one with their lives. What is wrong with me wanting a good rel with my sons dad?
Thanks Walking for thinking of me. Three yrs into this and its still a mess.
