Oh, and the really interesting part. It says I am absolutely NOT supposed to show this chapter to my distancing H. Apparently, it's supposed to be a very difficult and miserable experience for him, to be totally figured out by him, and probably take a long time to do so. It reads that if you're a distancer reading the book, just skip the chapter or hand it to your pursuing spouse. LOL!! Evidently, as a pursuer, our direct approach of facing the problem head on and digging in doesn't work. (I always thought the fix-it concept was a guy thing? Maybe it's different because it's relationally.)
