Thanks, P! I'm trying to keep telling myself to STFU, but it's SO hard! It never used to be! If it was anyone else, I would totally STFU, but because it is my H, I can't do it so easily.
One issue I have is not being able to take compliments very well. Whenever my H or anyone else would compliment me on something, I would just decline it by saying it's nothing, or "no, I'm not". I guess it might be having too much humility. I'm trying to practice saying "thank you" whenever someone says something nice.
That said, this morning H gave me a compliment for the first time in I don't know how long. After I got ready to go to work and about to leave he told me that I looked pretty. And I said "thank you".
This is also the only thing he has said to me all morning, other than 'bye'.
Last night, he was in grumpy mood and told me that he just wants to be alone. So I left him alone and went to the bedroom and hadn't spoken to him since last night. When he sat down to eat breakfast, he just stared down into his cereal bowl as he ate.
Clearly, he is still stuck in his 'crisis tunnel'. He won't talk too much, won't look at me too much, still spends most of the time on his iPad. The only time he seems to show interest and be affectionate is when he wants to ML.
I've been feeling very hurt lately. My heart is literally aching. Sometimes I question how strong I really am, and how much longer I will allow myself to hurt. And I guess the "allowing myself to hurt" part is crucial. I am the responsible for letting myself feel the pain, responding to actions or words. Okay, we're back to detachment 101.
