Should I 180 when my wife is having a tough time with depression? Sometimes I feel like this would make the situation worse. When she's like this she wants to drink (She did Saturday night behind my back), she doesn't know what she wants with our marriage, she's very snappy, and probably finds time to talk to OM.

I feel so alone right now. I cannot do anything to make her happy. This is something she has to work through herself. All I can do, and what I am doing, is try to make her comfortable while she fighting this. The thing is I cannot do anything right when she's like this. I was suppose to race Sunday but called it off because of the money. She acted like she was disappointed - and I know why. Or I assume I know why. There would have been a window for her to text the OM.

I am so ripped apart right now I don't know what to do. I want to leave her so bad just to get her attention. But I'm afraid it wouldn't work, Plus I don't have any place to go or the money to do it. There is so much going on in my life - our lives - that we're pretty much stuck. That fuels her to want us to separate even more. Her rebellious attitude totally goes against what needs, or has, to be done. If we have to stay together she doesn't want to. If we have to work on our marriage it makes her not want to. If she has to work her steps she won't do it. If she needs to stop drinking it makes her want to even more.

This is a terrible place she's in right now. It could be temporary. It could last a long while. I don't know. I just know that she's in a dark place like before. Her mood shows it. This hopelessness she shows sticks to me as well. I'm trying so hard to keep my chin up and show her a happy man but I've lost it right now. I need motivation to do it now. I need to know that if I can 180 she will take notice and want to work to get out of her funk. She wallows in it and she looks at me like I'm in the way of her happiness. I'm the roadblock. I'm the trap in the path toward her perceived better life.


Me:42
W:43
M:03/08/98
SD17, D13
Found out about affair:12/16/10
Found out again: 06/22/12
Split: 06/22/12