WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

Well... actually I think she's depressed because she's simply depressed. I don't know if the reality is sinking in or not yet. I'm sure it partly is, but one of the fundamental pieces in this is her untreated depression.

She was taking Wellbutrin but stopped that against medical advice about six weeks ago. The Wellbutrin was not actually for depression, it was for smoking cessation, but that's was just her screen. She originally went in to the doc to get Wellbutrin and used her smoking as the reason. In reality she didn't want to have to go see a therapist and have a mental health workup done.

So yes. Part of this is her reality sinking in. But her narrative leading up to the bomb was that she's known for years "things weren't right". That having to "act like a wife when she doesn't feel like one" is what has caused her depression. That "living in a marriage where I'm not in passionate love with my partner" makes her depressed.

Well... you're not living in that marriage anymore nor do you have to act like a wife anymore. Yet you're still depressed. More depressed than before actually. The reality is her depression stems from years of unaddressed issues and abuse and until she deals with that... she'll be depressed. Heck, she might be depressed after dealing with it, but it sure isn't going to get better on its own.

And then add the fact that it's time for her to start cycling down into a depressive state. She's been running her full-steam manicness for the past few weeks. I actually started calendering her cycles (for my own sanity) about three months ago. They're never exactly perfect but I have been able to see trends and patterns emerge.