If you are still the custodial parent, then now is the time to really use that...get your son into a treatment program while you are still able to.

he is a minor

you are the parent and can mandate that he attends a treatment program as the counselor suggested

and as the custodial parent

your rights supercede those of your ex-wife in this scenerio

line it up, get him in, let his mom know as he is being transported there, let the courts know it was recommended by the counselor at school

being a parent is tough work and breaks your heart sometimes