This is such a hard road. In many ways I have been on it a while. Just wasn't aware of it. Got so far to go. Don't know whats waiting at the end of it.
On the bright side I had a good day by my current standards.
Went to church by myself. S said he would go if W went. She said she wasn't going but he should join me. He threw a minor tantrum and they stayed at home. Sat in the church full of people and felt very alone. Missed my family. The sermon was good. One person got saved. Three baptised.
We went to eat lunch together and bowling after that. It was fun but everything is awkward these days.
Came home and watched a kids movie. At one point a momma bear pushes a cub down a hill and stays behind to fight a wolf and dies. The cub is crying. S turns to look at me with tears in his eyes. He asks "why". "Would you push me down a hill and leave me?" I answered that I would never leave him. Him and I are great hunters and we are strong. We would fight that wolf together. His spirits were quickly lifted and he showed me his muscles.
