Rollercoaster Ride - I'm just strapping in...

[purgatory]

Those dreams would have done a number on me too..... Hope you can recover and have a better night's sleep tonight. I really hate it when a dream is so real that you carry the emotions into the 'awake' stage, it's hard to regain focus and remind yourself that it was only a dream. (((((for a better night)))))

You posted this on nhmom's thread:

But Purg & BK question for you - H is at home, still has contact with OW, and tells us ILU. How are you supposed to react when you know about the OW? I keep wanting to ask him if he tells her the same thing? You can answer on my thread so I don't hijack NH's thread completely. LOL

This is how I've handled OW (who is also my exBFF)
Try not to get grossed out... I think of her as an annoying pimple on my M. It's ugly and irritating and I REALLY wish it would just go away. If I pick at it (bring her up in conversations), it get's bigger and more irritated (H comes to her defense and I end up wanting to slasher tires even MORE!) If you leave a pimple alone, it will still hurt, be irritating and embarrassing... BUT it will eventually go away on it's own, hopefully with minimal scaring.
[I put this same analogy on my thread a while ago, and one of the rick's thought it was really gross!]

As far as your H still saying ILY, I would take it at face value. Find every ounce of energy you have to STFU and don't throw out the cynical/negative questions or comments like: "is that what you say to her too?" If *you* acknowledge the OW in any way/shape/or form.... his only option is going to be to defend her- which will add to your anger and hurt (I speak from experience on this one, unfortunately.)
25 once told me that the OW isn't worth the breath you have to take to say her name. I try to remind myself that *I* am not a home-wrecker who is taking an H away from a W who loves him (how would she feel if the tables were turned??) but that *I* am the better person- and by not acknowledging her, and trying to act with dignity- I won't have to apologize for my actions somewhere down the road.
Let me share a story about this quickly:
Last night (yes, last night) I went to a concert for my Goddaughter at her HS. I knew that I would see OW there, so I prepared myself for the possible interaction. (ok, so when I actually got there and saw her in line a few people ahead of me, I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes- i chickened out.) BUT I recovered and found my seat in the auditorium. I tried not watch where she was going to sit, but I found her with her other 2 Ds and guess who else.... my H and S6!!! I almost wanted to crawl out of my skin right there in my seat. I didn't look over at them, I didn't get up and walk away. I managed to sit there long enough to hear GD sing, and *then* I left when it was dark. I got to my car and screamed at the top of my lungs and cried the whole way home. I didn't know if H saw me there until he came home later and asked my I left early. It was all i could do not to yell at him and call him all the nasty names I could think of... I honestly said to him: "I didn't expect to see you there and it took me by surprise. I saw GD sing and didn't see a reason to stay till the end." He said, I didn't want it to be awkward for you, I'm sorry. [REALLY?? not awkward for me?!? I would love to know what OW's friends thought seeing her sit with a man who is NOT her H?? That's might have been a little awkward for her!]

That was longer than I wanted it to be, really sorry (I always get accused of talking too much- me?? never.) But my point is, IF I had gotten up and walked over to them and called her a $lut (which I really wanted to do!) *I* would have ended up looking like the crazy person to everyone around- b/c they don't know the background. And then H would have come to her rescue and protected her against me... and things would have gone downhill very fast.
You have to find the mental ability to compartmentalize *your* R with H and ignoring OW's R with H. You can't do anything about it- as much as you think you can, talking about her will only push him closer to her.