Yes, honestly, I think just about anyone would be annoyed. There is a lot of behavior on your part to avoid that involves being controlling, blaming, manipulative, judgmental, needling, impatient, and passive aggressive. Do you have an IC to share your lasts two posts with? I think you could make a lot of progress on those things quickly.
At the same time, you are obviously a good, caring, loving person committed to improving yourself and your marriage. I fear you are getting in your own way. There's a book about LifeTraps that might help you break out of unhelpful patterns of behavior.
Sounds to me like H felt a bit hopeful that you were willing to listen and read stuff he sent you. You sure put a stop to that. Uh oh.
Maybe try this: "H, you are right. I was hounding you and I really screwed up. I really appreciate you finding things for us to share as partners to help us improve our R. Maybe it was anxiety that led me to be so impatient. Maybe I feel a need to control things because I'm scared about losing you. Whatever it was, I'm sorry that I pestered you and felt a need to control it. I'm even sorrier that I rejected your efforts because I didn't get my way. I was not a good partner and I can do better. I'd really like a do over."
If H wants to share a bed with you, what solutions have you explored to help you sleep together? Have you tried ear plugs or white noise? Has H been checked for a sleep disorder? If the snoring is that disruptive, it is likely he has sleep apnea which is very dangerous for both acute reasons (you can die in your sleep) and chronic reasons (it damages you health, can even lead to brain damage.)
