We all went to dinner and H and I were having some conversation on the way. S was in the car, playing his video, so we coded the convo in case he was listening. H came up with the idea of using "making a sandwich" in place of "having sex." I was very focused on SBT and what could be done at this point in time, based on reality and not promises. I truly was invested.
I tried to figure out what the alternative would be to the problem that morning, and tried to get feedback from him. I suggested that if I had told him that I wanted to "make him a sandwich," I can't imagine being irritated because he came to me 14 hours later asking where his "sandwich" was, especially when I said I wanted to. So he would need to explain it to me. It went on like this for a bit, but I really couldn't get much from him. I made several suggestions, attempted to formulate some parameters. He was listening and "agreeing," but wasn't invested or enthusiastic. It was more like someone that was agreeing to something but didn't want to do it. This has been an issue for us in the past, because then later it blows up on me because it was MY idea. So I said that I needed him to invest, and I would keep quiet and let him drive the conversation for a while. He resisted but I kept redirecting it to him, though he never really did contribute anything.
We got to the first destination, and while H and I were walking into the store, H was just acting like a crabby kid dragging his feet because he didn't want to do what he was being made to do. I said that I felt like he wasn't happy with my suggestions but wouldn't formulate any of his own, so I asked if he just wanted to be unhappy.
He looks at me and yells, "Me?? I'm not the one that's getting all pixxed off!!" Honestly, I thought it was funny, and I paused and said to him that maybe he could convince me if he yelled a little louder, hoping to break the tension a bit. He just kept on walking about 10 feet in front of me. After a few steps, I stopped and told him I'd wait in the car. (Thankfully, S wasn't in earshot.) He went inside and proceeded to do his recreational shopping while S and I waited in the car.
