Well ... I'm back

[tpc1977]

For the past several days there has been tension. I'm told it's just me. But I don't really know.

Yesterday was my first race of the season. I got 5th. In my sport, that's pretty good. But the. Else ration was short lived. My wife was in a horri le mood all day. She was out with the girls shopping and you could here frustration in her voice any time we spoke. Then after we were all home she was sneaking off to drink. I could tell when her demeaner changed and later we her speach changed. She says certain things that I've noticed only when she's feeling the effects of alcohol.

It really. Brought me down. All night I tossed and turned trying to figure out whether or not I can deal with this the rest of my life - her drinking, lying, and talking to someone else behind my back. I'm losing hope and motivation.

If anyone is reading this and. An give me some insight, hope, motivation, whatever, I'd love it. I want to leave her, but I love her. I want her to come to a decision about us, herself, her career, our family, but it's not going to happen if I'm allowing her to do what she wants with a big smile on my face.