If you like Pina Coladas....

[purgatory]

Every time I start to think that I'm alone... I'm quickly reminded that I am not. I am so grateful to all of you who take time to share your thoughts with me

link to last thread:
part 6
(all other parts can be found on that first page... I don't feel like copying all of them.)

Ok, so I changed the name of this thread just for fun. Did you sing the next line in that song when you read it?? I have that song on my 'happy' playlist and I've always wondered: if I took out a personal add, would my H respond to it?? As silly as that song is, there's a deeper message that I get from it... The guy is looking at the personals b/c he's bored with his lady. He finds this perfect woman that he just *has* to meet... turns out it's *his* lady. He says that he never knew all those wonderful things about her that he also loved... and a new R is born. Don't you think that all of us have been guilty at one point or another for assuming we know everything about our spouse? Isn't is possible that we *don't* know everything and by re-discovereing each other, we can fall in love all over again? At least that's what I'm hoping for... and my title will remind me of that

Today:
Thank you all SOOOOOO much for advising on my latest cr@p. I have given it some thought, and I'll probably do a lot more, but there are some holes in her 'story' that make me believe she was mistaken about who/what she saw:
-I really think my H is smart enough NOT to make out with any OW in front of the house- that's just really stupid! Besides, do you know many *adults* that would 'make-out' hot and heavy in their driveway for the whole world to see- ok some of us might, but not daily.
-(like bklyn said) IF they did have something going on 2 years ago, why wouldn't they pick it back up now that they are 'allowed' to??
-supposedly there was a guy who would park down the block and watch my house from a small black car (exBFF's H had this kind of car) BUT- exBFF's H is also crazy enough, that IF he *had* seen them kissing, he wouldn't have stayed in the car... he probably would have run over and made a big scene... not to mention, he would be using this example against OW in their D papers.
(a possible confusion: 2 years ago, the neighbor on the other side of us, had a revolving door of girlfriends... he was getting ready to leave for the Navy and was at home ALL the time. This would also make sense about the 'making out' observation- *teenagers* wouldn't hesitate to do tonsil hockey in the street!)

There's just too many questions and not enough facts for me to confront H. So I'm going to keep my mouth closed. Some of you may disagree, and may think that I'm not standing up for myself- but here's how I've come to explain it to myself:

That Purg hadn't looked into herself enough to know that she can't always point the finger at H, I needed to point the finger at myself sometimes too. This Purg has accepted her faults, and H's faults (including the ones I don't know about.) I want a *new* M with this man that is the father of my children, my best friend and the love of my life.... that means that 'old M' drama can't come along. I view myself as having a clean slate approach- any potential new R or M, will be based on *this* Purg. Just like when we all came into our Ms, our personalities/beliefs/experiences had all shaped the person that our spouse chose to fall in love with and marry... If my H is to fall in love with me again, it will be with a Purg that has been shaped by all the good and bad experiences in life- including our old M.

2TP has this quote at the bottom of his info: "Forgiveness is setting down the load & never picking it up again!"

I truly want a new and better M with my H.... I have to LIVE this ^^^^^ if that is ever going to be possible.

BTW, check out a group called DB Buddies.... it could be kinda cool! (especially if it works now!) Rick, I hope the suspense hasn't killed you