Definately gather info from you're neighbor and if it's bad news, hold on to it. I believe that there will be a right time and place to confront. As I have seen so far, everything will come to light at some point!! It will be revealed to you when you are able to handle it. If I had learned my news before now, I probably would've been a complete basket case and who knows what I would have done!!
I also belive in taking time to process everything you learn instead of reacting with pure emotion. As much as I wanted and still want to punish H, I don't know if I want to take a chance on ruining his career and maybe his life. It's too long term!! By waiting til I wasn't quite so angry, I realized this and will be better able to make a rational decision.
We, unlike the WAS, have the ability to take the time and make rational decisions!!
Me31 H33 M11 T15 S10, D4 H deploys 01/11 H R&R two weeks 10/11 ILYBNILWY/sep 12/11 homecoming 1/12 pos D 1/13