When it's a one-way street...part 2

[2thepoint]

Some time ago there was significant discussion about what the LBS thought it would take for them to wake up to the fact that their M was about to end, short of actually having the bomb dropped on their head.

Common belief is that only when the bomb is dropped does the LBS finally wake up and realize what is happening and usually by that time, it is too late.

For me, I truly believe that if my W had sat me down and held my undivided attention long enough to make it crystal clear that she was considering abandoning the M, state her reasons for doing so and then said that the only way out was if we worked together on the M, then I would have acted.

Instead, what I got and most of the LBS's on the forum got was a smack upside the head with a 2x4 stating "I'm done and I want out, now!" There was no room for discussion and no chance to find a way to make it work.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I needed to have a come to Jesus meeting with my W. She needed to tell me in no uncertain terms what was going through her mind and what the end result would be if I didn't or we didn't take immediate action.

For me, that would have gotten my attention and I would have tried to work on salvaging the M.

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CV, forgive me for saying this but when I read your posts, there is so much anger and resentment (most of it seems entirely justifiable) that I wonder if there really is any hope for you to find a way to make things work. Or you are just too angry and hurt to ever want to make things work. I hope and wish that I am wrong, but I don't see it by what you write.

So, if things are truly as bad as they appear, shouldn't you maybe consider sitting your H down and telling him exactly where your head is at, that you really can't see spending another day M to him if he is unwilling to work on the M? That you have been unhappy for too long and that life is too short for you to have to single handedly carry the burden any longer? And then in as loving a way as possible, give him the ultimatum that unless you "both" worked on improving the R, things would move forward towards D?

Why continue to live in misery? If you don't see a way forward, then why prolong the pain?

Maybe it is time.......

BTW - I've invited another WAS to join in the discussion on your thread. Hopefully, she'll be along before too long and perhaps together you can find the solution you are looking for.