(((Purg))) I agree with Rick that first you need to decide if you want to still be married to your H or not. I'm going through this and for me, I decided it wasn't a dealbreaker, but it hurts worse than almost anything in my entire life. And I am having a h$ll of a time with forgiveness.
I did confront about a week after bomb #1, when I found out he was having an A, and he really wasn't leaving because "we aren't compatible", but much more calmly than I have with information I have since found out. My H did turn it against me in the one real conversation we had about his A.
I have been sitting on lots of information I know about his A that he thinks I don't know for WEEKS now. How, I don't know. But for now, I've chosen not to have the "make it or break it" conversation. You need to decide for yourself whether confronting your husband will help you reach one of your immediate goals you have. If not, I'd keep my mouth closed.
I am so sorry your neighbor even brought this out in the open. True or not. Nosy neighbors are the worst!
