You mentioned your H should loose weight. Weight gain can be a sign of depression. You mention your H goes to sleep while watching movies, you say it's a family trait. So is depression. You say he is irritable only with you. You mention you don't spend a lot of time with him, so how do you know it's ONLY with you.

How do you know he doesn't have suicidal thoughts? Not all depressed people mention that. I certainly never did.

I don't KNOW that he has depression, but he has signs of depression. There may be more.

How would you find out? It will require talking with him. Spending time with him. Being with him in the presence of others.

Every time I bring up something that would require you to connect and engage or empathize with your H, you show resistance. You aren't ready, yet.

That's OK. Sometimes, to work through sadness, we cry. Just let it all out. Cry until you can't cry any more. In anger, it is usually strenuous exercise or venting, over and over and over again, until it's out of our system or we're worn out, physically.

Your H's shows of affection or love, through playful actions or words, you see as hurtful, frustrating, immature, etc. Were you ever receptive to these behaviours?

Can he change these behaviours? Sure he can. But like sex, where it may actually require you SHOWING him... telling him... taking his hands and moving them to where you want them or helping him understand what positions best sexually fulfil you... it will take the same in your emotional relationship with him.

It will take spending time with him through the good AND the bad, the easy AND the frustrating... to work with him and help him learn what works and what doesn't work for you, with healthy boundaries and supportive words and actions.

You aren't ready for that, yet.

That's OK. It takes time.

So here's the thing...

Here is your choice...

Work yourself out of your anger and frustration with your H by whatever means to get it out of your system...

or...

Use that anger and frustration to push through this stuck point and to motivate you to kick your H's butt so he truly understands that he needs to make a choice to re-commit and step up and be a husband you want to stay with.

But... IF he is depressed... some methods of engagement won't work, or the results would be different than expected and confuse the results.

So again, we're stuck in the circle cycle...

Until you are ready to step through and engage your H... well...