So are you not going to tell me why you think he's depressed? Are you not going to tell me how I'm supposed to be able to find that out? You're not going to explain the steps? That's pretty mean.
Journaling here is not doing it for me. In fact, much of this stuff is in the past and has been beat to death already and I hate drudging it up yet again. It's killing my mojo. It's what I hated most about starting with a new counselor -- you had to revisit all the painful history and it immediately set a negative mood for the session. It's what I loved so much about the idea behind SBT.
The problem is that I'm not getting your point. I'm not even sure you have one. For me, this has just been an exercise in frustration. Maybe everyone reading my posts is saying, "Oh, it's so obvious, she's just not getting it." I agree, I'm not.
I get the concept of being responsible for making my own happiness, but I also believe, and I think I've seen it posted here before, that someone else can contribute greatly to your unhappiness. I can be perfectly happy sitting outside with my eyes closed, my face in the sun, listening to the birds and the wind and the neighbor kids playing. But when my H walks up and pours a bucket of ice water on me because he decided I looked warm, it's hard to appreciate what "life" has to offer. And even though at that moment, H and I have "connected and engaged," it's not something I care to extend further.
It's unfortunate, then, that your belief in the salvation of my marriage is based on the fact that I keep posting here, because the frustration and lack of direction, the drudging up of history, the negative impact on my mood is making me want to stop, even earlier this week. I'm not sure that focusing on my happiness can incorporate saving my marriage, at least not if this is what it looks like.
