2thepoint, I guess that is what I was trying to say. She needs to see him as an autonomous, independent, free guy out there who is embracing his new life and enjoying it. Act as if. I'm not saying this is simple, it is not. This is how DB-ing worked for me, in the sense that I started to act as if, i'm free, i'm independent, i'm coming and going on my terms, I don't schedule everything around my H's schedule.....I can be happy without him, I can go on. I said "Act as if" because inside I was totally a wreck and in the worst pain ever. He started to miss me, when I made myself unavailable.
The key word being unavailable. Unavailable to text, to email, to anything that did not concern our child we have together. I did not set my schedule, to necessarily make his life easy either. I popped up a few times here and there challenging his "alone times". The way I saw it is this.... if he was planning on leaving me, he'd have to make time for his D anyway, may as well get on with it and let me go on with my life. I don't know if that makes sense but all of these tactics of being unavailable and the feeling that I was shaking loose from him, made him start to open his eyes.
