Where did my life go?

[irishblessings]

Can I tell you the title of this thread is so appropriate tonight...
My son had asked me back in November if his friend could stay with us - bad home life. I say of course. So it's all wonderful and such - until today. Son and friend get into a horrible fight and friend threatens him - hits him, etc. Son tells him to get out / friend refuses / fight continues - son calls police. I am at work - leading a group of administrators in training. Get call this is going on. I ask my son - "were you afraid" - he answers "yes" - I said, "then you did the right thing."

In the meantime - I am thinking to myself AGAIN - how did my life turn so trashy? If I was am still married - XH would have been here and it would not have happened. I feel obliged to tell XH that police were here and let him know what happened. Why did I feel obliged? I don't really know except that I felt the situation was significant.

Any way...I wish for my old life back. I wish for the companionship of my XH, sharing these types of issues with him / I miss his judgment in these circumstances...

I promise I am just venting - but it's major.