BF- It's really funny that you called me a 'spicy pepper'... there's a LONG running inside joke about peppers between me and my H! It involves tequila and tattoos, and that's all I'll say about that!
A quick update- The 8yo is going to be moving to Georgia to live with his birth father while mom goes through rehab. There has not been a timeline set. Since this has been an ongoing issue for years, I don't think the court is going to be satisfied with a 6 week type program. He's really excited about this, but I'm concerned how he's going to react when reality sets in that he may never get to live with his mom again if she can't clean herself up.
My son hasn't grasped the idea that his best friend is leaving, he thinks it's just a few weeks visit.... not looking forward to that crying session when it hits him.
A few positive interactions with H tonight: -S6 is starting tee-ball and tomorrow is their first practice. H asked if I would plan on being there to watch, and that he "want's these Saturday practices/games to be a family thing regardless of whose weekend it is." -He helped me figure out some things with my new job and trying to go back to school.
Some not so fun talks too: -He let me know of his plans for his 5 weeks off before he deploys... 2 of which will be going to Florida with out any of us. But he didn't say anything about the other 3 weeks. -He referenced moving into his own place when he gets back from overseas (not sure how or why this needed to come up) -When we knew what the plans were going to be for 8yo, H told me "well now I won't have to be here as much as I thought I was." (Really?! Is he just trying to be mean??)
I did hear some disturbing news from my neighbor friend. She said that with all the drama of the cops the other night, some of the other neighbors have been coming out to gossip. Well, somehow the conversation turned to a lady (2 houses down from me) telling her that she had seen my H kissing another woman multiple times outside, that same woman coming to my house when I wasn't there but H was AND that she's seen *me* coming and going with this same woman.... all of this she said she saw when we moved in the house almost 3 years ago!!
I can't only think that this 'mystery woman' is my exBFF, although there are a few other girlfriends that used to come over frequently before they moved away- but I can't imagine them having an affair with H- but I've learned that I don't know much of anything anymore!! I keep praying that this lady got it wrong; that it was *me* she saw (b/c my hair was longer and blonder when we moved in) or that she thought it was my H, but it was someone else.... Please don't let it be H and exBFF!! That means that both of them made a fool out of me- living a life that was based on lies. Letting me think that they were 'just friends' all these years. Listening to me when I would cry about H to her and all the while, she was taking him for herself! I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about this!!
What do I do with this info? Should I go talk to the lady 2 doors down and see what kind of description she can give me so maybe I can determine who this woman really is? I've asked myself if knowing this info would change anything, and my answer is yes AND no.
No: I still want my M and I'm willing to move forward and leave it all in the past. Had I known all of this 2 years ago, I probably wouldn't have gone through all my therapy to discover my issues, nor would have the baby been born- and I can't imagine life without him!
Yes: The realization that I've been duped for the past few years. H was telling me that he was unhappy, but that he wasn't giving up yet... when in fact, he had already moved on and was leaving me to think that our M was worth all the effort.
I wonder if he would be apologetic if I confronted him? Would he have any remorse or guilt? Even though I know that confronting him wouldn't be the best thing to do, I want him to know that *I* know- that he can't live two different lives and keep them secret from the other. The evil part of me wants to stick it to him in the papers- because now I know the type of man that I'm really dealing with! But I won't.
Gosh! I can't seem to write a short post lately, I'm really sorry for all the drama. I have to get it out of my head so I can sleep!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
