2, I think there is some discrepancy there. For instance, I like to show love by giving gifts, but I don't like to receive gifts. I like words of affirmation, but I'm not very good at giving them.
Nothing wrong with this ^^^^. So is Words of Affirmation your primary LL? If so, then when your H berates you and ignores you, not only is he not filling your tank but he is actually poking holes in it so it drains faster!
By your definition, if my H's LL is physical touch and feels loved when I please him sexually, he should want to show love by pleasing me sexually. That doesn't happen.
You may be right, but Physical Touch for me at least doesn't necessarily have to involve sex, although that is nice too. For me physical touch involves holding my hand without prompting, a reassuring squeeze on the knee, rubbing my shoulders if we are on a long drive, etc.
Just because a persons LL is one thing doesn't necessarily mean they speak that to their partner. A lot do, but not all. Your H just sounds like a dork (no offense intended) who hasn't the first clue how to show love and respect to his partner.
I think we all give/need some of all of them. I am not understanding the need to label it, especially if the specific "action" need is defined.
I agree that we all need/give each of the LL's but I believe we each have a dominant LL that if missing from a R will eventually erode our love and affection we have for our partner. I also agree it is not necessary to label them, but sometimes it is helpful for people to understand with labels.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
