"So are you referring to the language we speak, or the language we like to receive? You're asking about my showing love to him or his showing love to me."
The language you speak and the language you like to receive are usually the same which is why we get into trouble. For example, my W's LL is Acts of Service. She loves it when I do things for her, especially when she hasn't asked for it, (i.e. home made valentine cards with the kids pictures on them).
This is also the language she speaks, (i.e. it would not be unlike her to make home made valentine cards for me).
However, Acts of Service is not my LL. Physical Touch is and to a lesser degree, Words of Affirmation.
So while my W does things for me (i.e. Acts of Service) because it makes her feel good and it is her primary LL, my tank goes empty because I am not getting the love that I need in the form of Physical Touch.
Make sense?
If we speak each others LL, then each of our needs are met. And it is not easy since we often revert to that which we are most comfortable with. It is really a conscience decision we have to make.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
